First Date DON’Ts

first-date

1)    DON’T STICK YOUR TONGUE IN THEIR MOUTH. If they’re thirsty, they’ll ask for a glass of water or something.

2)    DON’T EAT THEIR FOOD. They’re probably hungry too, even if they just order a house salad topped off with balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

3)    DON’T ORDER FOR THEM. They’re not your child, they can use their own words.

4)    DON’T ASK THEM TO COME OVER/DON’T INVITE YOURSELF INTO THEIR PLACE. If they want the D, they’ll make sure you know it.

5)    DON’T ASK TO SPLIT THE BILL. Offer to pay, and if they are as equal minded as you, they will most likely do the same. You guys can come to a consensus to split the bill then, or if the date went well, insisting on paying and jokingly saying that the next one is on them, is an easy way to win a second date.

6)    DON’T BE MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES EARLY. That’s creepy.

7)    DON’T BE MORE THAN FIVE MINUTES LATE. This might leave them waiting for the date to end before it has even begun. Respect other people’s time.

8)    DON’T HAVE DRY MOUTH. Chew gum, have a Tic Tac, whatever.

9)    DON’T FORCE CORNY AND GENERIC JOKES. They’re probably going to be bad and she will probably laugh out of pity. What is she really thinking? Get me the F*** out of here. Let your natural sense of humour take over.

10)  DON’T PLAY FOOTSY OR WINK. Ew.

By: Aaron Krandel